The Ultimate Rollercoaster Ride

I count the time left before I'll be seeing you again; I count by the hour and minute. I dread and at the same time look forward to the experience of being in your presence yet again.
Thoughts of you consume my entire day. You keep me on my toes; you push me to my limits. You give me a sense of fulfillment, yet you constantly make me doubt myself; you constantly make me anxious and afraid.
I have often toyed with the idea of quitting you, but would I want to be afflicted with existential crisis yet again?
Three years down the road, yet you still leave me as dazed as the first day we met. Three years down the road, and you still never fail to surprise and devastate me.
You have opened dozens of doors for me, and you will open a hundred more. Some would say this madness is halfway over, but in reality, it has not even begun.
The ultimate gift, the ultimate dillema and the ultimate rollercoaster ride is knowing you.

School has begun once again, and I feel fulfilled yet befuddled and harrassed once again, like being in a tempestuous quasi-relationship with a flighty person. It eats up your time; it consumes your thoughts, and there’s nothing else you can talk about with anyone who would care to listen.
And while you worry about it pretty much the whole day, and even if there are several dozen things you want and need to do, you waste your time with irrelevant activities: drinking with friends, browsing social networking sites, heck, even cleaning the house. All because you don’t know how and where to start. Much like being in a tempestuous quasi-relationship with a flighty person.

I thought a lot of us would be more open to arguments and opposing contentions. Yet some still take it badly when you express disagreement. In an age where everyone is free to express themselves through numerous social networking sites, it is already expected that some peoples' ideas will clash with yours, and it doesn't mean that just because they dissent, they already think of you as a lesser person. It also doesn't mean that just because they dissent, they don't deserve your respect.Why are some so hostile when you express an opinion that opposes theirs? Is it not possible to discuss as two friends and equals who just have different views?

I cannot stand being alone with my thoughts. So many could-have-beens and so many what-ifs just bother me. Years ago, I used to tell myself that there is no better place and time than NOW, and I meant it. But I can no longer sincerely tell myself that. The memories just haunt me.I’ll be happy to be transported to five years ago. Or four years ago. And even three years ago. And especially three and a half years ago. But I’m happy to be in law school now. I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. But I’ve done and said so many things impulsively that I just want to correct them. I’d like to go through it all one more time, but with more grace, maturity and intelligence.

It’s only one of two things. It’s either I have plenty of time, or I’m running out of time. Either way, I should just relax, take my time, and focus on the things that really matter. I don’t want to find myself at the end of the road thinking, why did I spend that much time so stressed out about things I could have just winged?
Everything’s going to be all right.

Oxymoron

What are you made of? You are made of a thousand and one things I’ll never understand. You are apathy and passion, cynicism and romance, laziness and ambition, all at the same time. You enter and exit out of different worlds. You wear multiple masks, and you throw them out as you go. You know a lot about everything. You are the very person I’d like someday to be, but for now, I’m happy to be watching and learning from you.

On CInderella

Many many decades ago, Cinderella already knew her game. She shows up for the party late, and after dancing with the prince, leaves the party early. She doesn’t even call or text him when he goes all over the kingdom looking for her, and when he finally finds her, she makes him drop on his knee just so he can put her foot in her glass slipper. Whoever said Cinderella just waited for her prince doesn’t know a thing about being a coquette.